Alhamdulillah my husband is good natured but he is not the romantic kind. He approaches me with loving gestures only in bed. When I am asleep he comes to me but I’m unable to respond because it’s just physical and I cannot help but push him away. I am afraid that I’m earning Allah’s displeasure and anger by doing so. Please advise me.
This is the woman’s common trial, we are all tested from this aspect.
In your case you have no excuse at all to refuse him. It might be difficult if the husband was abusing or bad natured.
The devil’s priority is to separate the wife and husband and he will work on achieving this more than he works on trying to seduce a man or a woman to commit adultery or theft. This fact is according to an authentic hadith.
The special relationship between a man and his wife is something vital and extremely important to maintain a good marriage. If this special relation is not good then I guarantee a bad marriage life and a terrible atmosphere in the house.
The men are created in a way which is very much impacted by this special relation, it affects their psychological state, mood and their behavior. They are like this even if they are not aware of it. If you disappoint him or refuse him you will build a very sensitive barrier and he will want to prove to you that he also does not want you and this is done involuntarily.
Now see how serious this matter is; your husband approached you, you refused without a valid reason (illness as an example), he becomes upset and you will be cursed by the Angels who asks Allah to expel you from His mercy.
Your husband is your priority and according to the authentic hadith he is your path either to heaven or hellfire.
Repent and ask Allah’s aid and try to fix what you did. Start being nice to him, tell him nice words and offer yourself to him.
(AND PLEASE) Do not say to him, “I am doing this for the sake of Allah.”
Yes, you do it for Allah’s sake but let him think that you are doing this because you love him.
I ask Allah to guide all of us to what pleases him best and to protect us from the evil of our souls and the Shaytan.