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Advising Parents Making Bad Dua To Their Children

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Question:

What is the best way for a daughter to advise her parents who curse their children whenever they do something wrong, or do not agree with them on important matters? They say very harsh things, like: “you’ll never have children if you continue to do this,” or nothing good will come your way. They only say these things when they are mad.

Zaynab El-Kateb:

First remind them with the hadith;

حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ يُونُسَ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ عَيَّاشٍ، عَنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ يَزِيدَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللهِ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ‏:‏ لَيْسَ الْمُؤْمِنُ بِالطَّعَّانِ، وَلاَ اللِّعَانِ، وَلاَ الْفَاحِشِ وَلاَ الْبَذِي‏.‏
( صـحـيـح الألباني)

Grade: Sahih (Al-Albani)

‘Abdullah reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “A believer is not a defamer nor a curser nor coarse nor obscene.”

And this hadith;

وقد نهى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم عن الدعاء على الأولاد والأموال والأنفس ، خشية أن يوافق ساعة إجابة ، فقال صلى الله عليه وسلم : ( لا تَدْعُوا عَلَى أَنْفُسِكُمْ ، وَلا تَدْعُوا عَلَى أَوْلادِكُمْ ، وَلا تَدْعُوا عَلَى أَمْوَالِكُمْ ، لا تُوَافِقُوا مِنْ اللَّهِ سَاعَةً يُسْأَلُ فِيهَا عَطَاءٌ فَيَسْتَجِيبُ لَكُمْ ) رواه مسلم 3014 .

The Prophet, peace be upon him, prohibited us from supplicating against ourselves and our children, he said that your supplication might agree with an hour where Allah will respond to what you asked. This is extremely dangerous. They should get used to make dua that Allah guide their children, this dua of guidance should be on their tongue whenever they get angry at their children.
If they supplicated with evil things and Allah responded, the parents will never forgive themselves and it will be painful.

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