Dealing With Oppressive Parents

Home / Parents / Dealing With Oppressive Parents


BarakAllaahu feeki, I have informed my parents that I do not want to attend university anymore and preferably would like to get married now. Upon saying this I have been accused of countless disgusting things, even they have questioned my chastity. This has resulted in violence and they said that I have to finish university even though I offered them an alternative.
I came back home to stay and they confiscated my phone. I got my laptop back on the basis that I’m using it for work. I have no contact with the salafi community now. My father has my phone and said the only way I will get it back is with conditions; I fear that all of this may be in order to make me to leave what I am upon. Even though my parents say they have forgiven me, because I apologised after the incident to appease them, they now treat me very differently. I know there are others going through worse than me and I ask Allah to grant them ease. However, my parents are only resulting to violence and force. I understand that parents have rights but I cannot obey them in haram and this is why they only see salafiyyah as bad. I really don’t know what to do, can you please advice me?

Zaynab El-Kateb:

This is a trial from Allah, as you said others faced more difficult trials and hardships. You need to adopt for yourself that any harm is acceptable except harm in the religion.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, said:

لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق
There is no obedience to the creation in the disobedience to the Creator,


إنما الطاعة في المعرو
Verily obedience is in what is good.

You need to have strong belief that Allah will grant you a way out, just be sure to pass this trial successfully. Be firm upon the truth and you will find a strength in yourself which you never imagined.



Leave a Comment