From christianity to Islam…
I always loved to learn about other cultures and religions and I wanted to know more about it. However, I thought that Religion causes war and destruction. My parents raised me as a christian but they themselves didn’t believe in christianity. I didn’t grow up very religious because of that but I had to go to church with my grandmother sometimes.
I never really understood christianity or who Jesus really was, my questions were getting more. I hated going to the church because it was cold and boring and I didn’t understand the purpose behind it. Yet I said a prayer every day before I went to sleep. The older I got the more I stopped praying and I questioned everything.
But somehow something was missing. I had problems with my self esteem and my past. I had severe depression, anxiety, I just wanted to die. The hate that I had was focused on myself, I wasn’t as perfect as the others.
My friends partied all night long, boys were giving them attention, they drank alcohol and smoked. And I? I wanted to be like them, hoping to find tranquility and contentment in my heart. Hoping to find a purpose in my life but everything I tried didn’t work, my depression got even worse. I didn’t consciously search for a religion because I thought that religion is manmade. I couldn’t find a purpose behind my life. Islam came into my life when I hit rock bottom.
A sister gave me a Quran and I started reading it. I was interested on it but I didn’t read much. In class we spoke about the trinity in christianity. Up until then I never realized that christians believe that Jesus is God and Human at the same time. Learning about this made me realize that I didn’t believe in Christianity. I started researching every other religion. But nothing made sense to me. The only religion that was left was islam.
The sisters who gave me the Quran asked me if I wanted to see and experience how Muslims pray. I said yes, of course, because I was interested. The sister prayed and I followed the movements. After that she told me what dua (supplication) is.
I will never forget this day. The dua that I spoke this day changed my whole life. I asked Allah for three things, I didn’t actually think that they will come true.
Three months passed by and I realized that everything I asked Allah for became true. My depression was gone, everything was just so much better.
I spent a weekend trying to learn more about Islam and I realized that I believed in it. But somehow I thought that I was too young to convert and that it would be too difficult.
I really believed in it but something in me said that I should not become Muslim. But when I once read Quran and started to cry I knew that this was the right path.
I went to the mosque with my sisters and took my shahada. When I spoke the words ‘la ilaha illa Allah’ (there is no one worthy of worship except Allah), my heart felt so warm, not just emotionally but literally physically. I never felt this feeling before and I never felt it ever again, it was amazing.
After that I could not hold my tears back as I knew this was the best decision I could ever make. It felt like every problem that was weighting me down was lifted from my shoulders. I forgot every sorrow, I was just happier than ever. My depression was cured and I found a purpose in life.
Note: If you want to know what is Islam and how to be a Muslim, please read the following article: How to be a Muslim and what to do next