A sister is married since 7 years and has a child of 5 years and is in a dilemma as to pursue the marriage or not. Her husband doesn’t pray, nor does he relate himself to anything related to Deen. She’s practising alhamdu lillah and wants to better herself in matters of Deen and when doing so her husband stays away from her. Should she still maintain patience and advise him on this as her parents suggest her to?
Sheikh Al-Abbad said in one of his books:
If the husband does not pray then the wife should:
- Give advice in a kind way, and be patient in giving advice.
- She tries to correct and improve herself and her manners more and more. (I think the Sheikh meant that her husband can see how the religion has changed her to a better person and he will like these changes in her attitude and dealings.)
- If the husband still does not pray then she asks for a divorce in a respectful way, no insults or bad manners.
I (Zaynab El-Kateb) would like to add:
Never give up duaa. Make duaa for him and do your best to try to influence him positively. After doing your best if he still refuses, in this case he has to know that he will lose you. Be polite but very firm in your decision. I saw several cases where sisters took this decision to get a divorce and subhana Allah the husbands started praying. They were not able to stand the thought that their good mannered and good natured wives will leave them for their lack of religion.
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