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Non Muslim Mother Wants To Celebrate Muslim Grandchild’s Birthday

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Question:

My non Muslim mother wants to invite our non Muslim family members to our home for the birthday of my daughter. Everyone in my family knows I do not celebrate birthdays. I told my mother that I do not want a party. May you please advise me?

Zaynab El-Kateb:

Allah says:

قال الله تعالى: لا يكلف الله نفسا إلا وسعها

Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope.

Allah will not hold you account except for matters within your capabilities and you have the choice. There is a rule that Allah will not recompense us except within 2 conditions:

  1. I have the ability to do what Allah commanded me to do.
  2. I have the choice to do or not to do. So if I am forced to do any wrong deed, this is not a sin and Allah will not punish me.

So, if one of these two conditions is missing, the obligation drops.

We have the hadith stating what happened to the Companion Ammar Ibn Yasser when the Kuffar of Mecca kept torturing him till he had to insult the Prophet, peace be upon him. He went crying to the Prophet feeling guilty from what he had to say, and the Prophet, peace be upon him, assured him that he should not worry about this as long his heart believed in Allah and the Prophet, peace be upon him . And he told him if they do this again to you say it again to free yourself from their harm.

So my advice to you is that you talk to your daughter and explain to her that we do not celebrate birthdays, and if they make a celebration go to another room and if possible try to take your daughter with you till they finish.

I ask Allah by His beautiful Names and Attributes to make a way out for you and for every Muslim living in Kuffar lands.

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