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The role of the waliyy

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Question:

What can one do if the waliyy is not fulfilling his responsibility to search for a potential husband? We must bear in mind that I am not young anymore. I had a proposal from a salafi man a few months ago and the waliyy refused on the grounds that he feared that this man might have easily divorced me. Perhaps he had this concern because the man and I are from different countries. Allahu A’lam (Allah knows best). However,  we are both living here in KSA (Kingdom of Saudi Arabia).

I do not seem to see my wali doing anything to help me get married and this makes me sad. Allah’s help is sought. May Allah reward you tremendously. Ameen.

Zaynab El-Kateb:

I do not know how you choose or appoint a Waliyy. In the event your father is not a Muslim, you can ask the Imam of the Islamic center or masjid (mosque), or a student of knowledge or a respectful man to be your waliyy. He can meet with the potential husband and go through the marriage procedures with him. Your waliyy can be changed. You do not  have to keep the same waliyy.

The waliyy is not responsible for finding you a husband. He may help if he can. Your friends can also help you with finding a husband. A good husband is a provision from Allah, so do not worry about this. Whatever Allah wrote, will happen.

The waliyy who refused the last man fearing he might divorce you easily, might have made the correct decision if there was evidence to  support his concern.

In the future, if the waliyy refused a potential husband, you need to be convinced that there is a valid reason for this refusal.  If there is no valid reason then you can ask someone else to be your waliyy and do not refuse the man if there is no valid reason.

Ri0481

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