Where is my Tawwakul?
SubhanAllah this last lesson taught me a lot . Especially as I didn’t know for tawakkul there isn’t any permissible type like there is with fear, love, seeking help. It just showed me the importance of learning about tawheed because none of us are safe from falling into shirk!
Sometimes we tell ourselves we are relying on Allah but when we look at our heart and how we are feeling we’ll see that we’re actually relying on the means. If we really were relying on Allah, we wouldn’t be feeling fear of losing our husband, worrying about how will we get food if he has no job or feeling disappointed because the medicine didn’t work etc. True tawakkul upon Allah leaves no room for worry, fear or any negative emotion in our hearts.
And sometimes Allah will teach us not to rely on people by making them let us down. I experienced this with my husband as I used to rely on him a lot in the beginning of our marriage and I had certain expectations which he wouldn’t meet. And this would cause me to feel upset and down. SubhanAllah it was miserable. But Alhamdulillah over time with the classes I learnt not to do this. Alhamdulillah my basic needs are met without me having to ask for them and I try be content with that. And anything more I want I try remind myself to ask Allah and SubhanAllah Allah provides for me from other means! It’s so beautiful when you see how Allah suffices you when you rely on Him. And I think sometimes Allah makes people treat me in a certain way to protect my heart like if I had loved ones around me who were extremely helpful this would’ve made me reliant on them and expecting help all the time, turning my heart away from Allah. But as I don’t have that it makes me realise how much in need I am of Allah’s aid and to turn to Him more.
And it was a good reminder that it’s not our husbands that provide for us. If Allah willed He could make our husband lose his job and have no income to give us even the basics. So why fear losing him and worrying what will happen to us when he can’t save himself from poverty? Recently this thought did come to me due to what’s happening with the virus, not everyone off work is getting paid right now. But I tried to push the thought away and reminded myself I have Allah He will take care of us even if my husband has no work. And this lesson just strengthened that in my heart Alhamdulillah.
Even with sickness. When we or our children fall ill who or what first comes to mind? Do we call upon Allah? Do we do ruqyah -one of the greatest means of cure on ourselves or children to be cured? Do we rush to take medicine expecting it to help instantly? Yes we take the means but who or what is our heart relying on to cure this illness? The medicine? The doctors or Allah?
May Allah rectify our hearts and bless us with this reliance upon Him. Aameen.
Perhaps this chapter came now for us to show Allah how much we actually believe in Him and rely upon Him as no one but Him can save us right now.
